Ashlie's out of town, Joel's out of work...

...so you can guess who's taking care of the dog. This includes photographing him and posting his little dogface on the blog for all to see.



Hoss is now 12 and a half weeks old, which translates into the human "terrible 2's." In 3-4 months he'll be a teenager. For all the young lady dogs out there in cyberspace--Hoss likes long walks in the park, destroying shoelaces, and making his owners pick up his poo from random people's driveways at 7 o'clock in the morning. He'll be fixed in the next few weeks; all the lovin', no bun in the oven. He won't be leaving you with anything but a pleasant memory-no unwanted litters ladies. Look at that sexy stud jump to destroy the evil flower of death.



Here's the thing. Lately Ashlie and I have been falling in love with Cesar Milan, Dog Whisperer. We read his book, watch his DVD, subscribe to his podcast, breathe heavily on his answering machine, all those cute things infatuated teenagers do. He's great. He can turn a crazy bitch into a perfect pooch with a 5 minute walk. Basically he has become my new male role model in life (sorry Dad, P. Diddy, and Pat Sajack).

But all the puppy training books say the whole "dominant pack leader, calm assertive energy" thing he does is a load of crap. And cruel. And that your dog will hate you later in life and become a raging alcoholic with penchant for street lovin' and nose candy.

Instead, experts propose, you should teach him to be deliriously happy every time you make this special sound with a little clicker.

So our options are to have a substance-abusing, baby-biting dog, or a retard. Great. Which does he look like to you?



Luckily, Hoss made the decision for us. He ate the clicker. Now we just have to hide our cash and credit cards so he can't run up too big a bar tab.

Ashlie's great. She loves her job. She flies daily to all the most beautiful and exotic locations in the greater midwest region. She spends her days 30,000 feet in the air and her nights in the most luxurious hotels within a 5 minute drive from the 2nd largest airport in town. This, and she gets all the peanuts she can eat.

She'll be changing her password so that I can never post again shortly.

Have puppy. Will swoon.

Finally. The day has come. Joel and I are now the proud new owners of quite possibly the cutest puppy in the world. Meet Hoss.



Hoss is the puppy on the left, seen here with his sister Mary. He is a Rottweiler/Wheaton Terrier mix. In this picture he was about 7 weeks old. He is now almost 9 weeks old and he looks more like this--



I retract my earlier statement. He is most definitely the cutest thing in the world. He doesn't whine or cry. He likes to take naps on my chest and lick my face. He hasn't gone to the bathroom in the house in like, 3 days. He only has one little problem.



Hoss is an infernal mouthing machine. He nibbles. All the time. Not on furniture or little toys or rugs, or any of that stuff. He nibbles on me. Not on "us." Not on Joel. Just me. And by "nibbles," I mean he likes to rip, tear, and tug strips of skin off my legs and feet. The stupid puppy has a toe fetish. Not a "licking" fetish; more like a "finding entire toenails complete with polish in my poop" fetish.

I guess I'll have to keep spraying my legs and toes with horrible-tasting bitter apple stuff so that he tires of the terrible tasting feet.



He's totally worth it.

My Family Album (and a bunch of other random pictures).

Part of the beauty of being a flight attendant is the ability to switch around one's schedule. Which is why I'm writing to you from Spokane, Wa instead of Baltimore. I was able to trade my days which in turn gave me the 8th-15th off. Nice. So after a year I'm finally back in my old stomping grounds soaking in the sights and spending some quality time with my family. Which is why I thought that I would invite ya'll in to my world to meet my family.

p.s. Happy Easter! Am to lazy to actually publish blog in Spokane. Must wait until I am sitting airport standby (hence, getting paid to blog).

This is myself with our dog Reba and a friends puppies. Apparently I was going for "Reba" red when I colored my hair. Yipes.

This is my lil' sister. She just turned 16 this December- she's one of the twins.

Meet my parents. Gary and Jean. Been married 33 years and still smiling. Wowsa.

This is my little brother Christian. He's going to be 20 in August. I can hardly freaking believe it!

This is Easter at the Beal household 18 years ago. I'm the one in the ugly hat (yet very fashionable for the 80's right?) At least it hides the perm. The cutie patooties are my brother and little sister Kaitlen.

Another pic of my brother. Isn't he so freakin cute? But really. Who didn't love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

This is my little cousin Lily mastering the art of "spoon on the nose" as taught by Sarah.

This is twin #2- Katherine (in the glasses). The girl hanging over her shoulder is my fake sister. Basically, I've known her since she was in diapers (which btw Marcy you should really move on to those big girl undies). Ha.

The End.

That was lamer than expected. Shoot. I figured that anytime pictures were involved it would be a winner. Oh well. Am to tired to care. Must be the 3.5 hours of sleep I got last night....